was anyone else...

actively brainwashed by McDonalds during their childhood by this game?

i've been playing it on my sega emulator today and admist all the gleeful memories of spending days of childhood illness shooting slimey monsters and evil squeaky beavers, it all seems a bit sinister.

look! when he stands still he blows bubbles and chews his gum. he even looks pissed of at you sometimes.

the game has an environmental theme (McDonalds trying to be ethical about brainwashing young innocent minds maybe?) in which the two characters you can choose from, Mic and Mac (thoughtful, must of spent hours brain-storming) run around the place shooting a squirty gun at things and yelling "AWESOME!!!"

The first three levels are set in a toxic world, in the second set of levels hard helmeted beavers throw logs at you, which seems a bit silly because surely beavers would want to protect their habitat from the nasty malevolent living axes which try to chop your skull open. there's also nasty plants that spit at you and wont die. I'm sure there's other levels but i often get bored at this point or die, i think it's an ice based world, i got there once when i was a kiddie, i was very bored with tonsilitis.

but now i'm all grown up, my tonsils were removed when i was nine and feel a bit used. i loved this game, and it was just a nasty marketing ploy attempting to make me eat crap food. although i still feel a sense of joy and self worth when i complete the levels and Ronald McDonald is there with a flag waving me in, my childhood innocence is gone and i see him for what he really is. A weird creepy clown who hangs around with young kiddies promising them a good time whilst making them obese. i've always thought he's a bit creepy to be honest.

but atleast ecco the dolphin isn't trying to sell me anything. even though the bad thing that happens at the start used to give me nightmares.

i still hate talking to the other dolphins though, they say stupid things, so i just ignore them and eat fishies. i've never completed this game, it was far too hard for me as a child an although it experienced a short come back when i was a young teen and finally had my own telly in my room i still find it much more fun to just swim around eating fishies, seeing how fast i can go before headbutting the coral reefs and doing flips in the air. the furthest i ever got were the ice levels, and i'm pretty sure i just used google to get the cheat codes. still this game is really pretty, and the sounds are creepy but great, but i hate the noise he makes when he's hurt, i genuinely feel bad.
it's a pity i have such a short attention span.

i'm gonna go play sonic 2! YEAH.